Social Networks

For Your Eyes Only

What do Kim K and your Timeline have in common? They

If only social network accounts could speak! If you’re wondering what they’d be saying these days (among other things, they’re quite complex entities these accounts…don’t underestimate the depth of their interests :-)), how about:  “Is it just me, or it’s getting hot in here?”.

In his opening speech at the Golden Globes, this year, Ricky Gervais paid his “respects” to one of the world’s most talked about socialites – Kim K – and planted the diva’s image (back) into our gossip loving minds. Combine this with the recent news about a certain sex tape featuring the lady and you’ve surely got a lot of attention pouring into the Kardashian direction.

What, then, would be chances of resisting the urge to click and see this:

Quite slim, if you ask me. And if the odds are against the curious, that’s what they get:

Some would argue that it’s only fair for this delight to come at a price. Will one share hurt?

No, it’ll just take you by the nose and drag you through the unending quiz mall. Enjoy the ride!

Tired of this running around, you might decide to take the matter into your own hands. Short of making your own sex tape and of sharing it with the world, here’s one thing you might do (you know, to blow off some steam): get your account naked!

Yeah, we’re back to the “Remove Timeline” obsession, and this time it’s got a stoic twist. First things first:

Don’t go screaming “scam”, ‘cause I know you can spot one of those miles away. Just take a look at the blind Like section. There’s 48 of them. Bet you can’t find a greedier one!

Like it or not, there’s a big blue button at the bottom of the page and it reads UNDRESS (actually, it’s just DELETE, but I’m sure the meaning‘s the same).

Click it and you’re set for a big bold slice of frustration.

The thing you’re looking for, an app that makes the Timeline go away, is not here yet. It’s in the making, but be sure to stay tuned, as it’s bound to blow your mind, what with its being verified by Facebook (NOT!). Patience is a virtue, indeed!

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About the author

Ioana Jelea

Ioana Jelea has a disturbing (according to friendly reports) penchant for the dirty tricks of online socialization and for the pathologically mesmerizing news trivia. From gory, though sometimes fake, death reports to nip slips and other such blush-inducing accidents, her repertoire is an ever-expanding manifesto against any Victorian-like frame of thought that puts a strain on online creativity. She would like to keep things simple, but she never does.