Social Networks

Timeline Worries Twice Removed?

The answer

So you’re not happy with what your Facebook profile looks like now.

Alternative 1: State your discontent, loud and clear. Tutorial here.

Alternative 2: Take it like a man. Tutorial here. (Ok, ok, you can also take it like a woman).

What’s that I hear? We’re all Zen now and we’ve chosen the non-abidance and non-attachment way. Excellent.  May I, then, present your serene highness with a couple of dovish, dewy-eyed Timeline effacement schemes that I’m sure WON’T get you hooked.

You will not click to see the wonder and you will not end up on this lovely page:


As you keep repeating to yourself the final words of the Diamond Sutra – “All conditioned phenomena/Are like dreams, illusions, bubbles, or shadows/Like drops of dew, or flashes of lightning/Thusly should they be contemplated.” – you will refrain from joining the click and share madness that’s about to break out. Nothing but rubbish on your profile will come out of it. True enlightenment, isn’t it?

While you levitate with joy at having escaped the first of today’s temptations, I say the game’s definitely not over.

Back to the sutras so you:

a)      meditate: have I checked whether this is possible or not?

b)      awaken wisdom: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

c)      get insight: Google it!

Liberation will come. What’s a good story without a nice ending so let me click and take my follow my other non-Zen companions to the mysterious add-ons land.

We’ll trust the Timeline hater community’s best intentions and install it. What can happen?

That’ll be the end of your calm and detached days. A quick look at your Activity Log will reveal the mischief the higher power of the Facebook worm is capable of: an abundance of posts on your friends’ walls will stand proof of your (accidental) scam endorseiung activity. And that’s just a fraction of what may actually happen as this kind of worms are designed with data theft in mind.

Got some food for meditation, I’d say.

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About the author

Ioana Jelea

Ioana Jelea has a disturbing (according to friendly reports) penchant for the dirty tricks of online socialization and for the pathologically mesmerizing news trivia. From gory, though sometimes fake, death reports to nip slips and other such blush-inducing accidents, her repertoire is an ever-expanding manifesto against any Victorian-like frame of thought that puts a strain on online creativity. She would like to keep things simple, but she never does.